It’s Okay to be Wrong: A Lesson on Pride

Estimated Reading Time: 4 minutes

Can you recall some of your earliest memories? It’s fun remembering them, isn’t it? You can see the moment, but it’s still fuzzy around the edges like a photo filter. One of my earliest memories that I can remember is when I asked my father how to spell my last name. In my childhood home, I had all of my “firsts” there and many learning moments. “B-U-L-L-O-C-K.” From there, I heard two things concerning my last name that stuck with me until now. “Bullocks never quit” and “We have a lot of pride sometimes.” It’s funny because you never know what’s going to remain with you from childhood to adulthood. I loved the phrase “Bullocks never quit.” I knew that one day when I got married, I either was not going to change my last name or I was going to hyphenate it. Either way, I was not getting rid of that Bullock strength. When it came to the other phrase, well, that caused a bit of trouble.

I will be very transparent right now. I have pride. I don’t like asking for help unless I really need it, I don’t like for people to know I’m in trouble, I like to do things on my own, I hate making mistakes or having people know I make mistakes, I will wait until I have my last penny before I ask for help, and I could go on. You may be wondering why I am telling you all of this. Over the past couple of weeks (maybe even months), I have discovered a great deal about myself. I always knew I had pride, but I always thought it was a characteristic thing. Maybe even a genetic thing. I don’t like being wrong, but what is actually wrong with being wrong? You may be thinking, “Well, of course, there’s nothing wrong with being wrong.” Some people don’t know that. In school, I would raise my hand with a confident answer to tell my teacher and beaming with pride, until I said the wrong answer. For days I wouldn’t raise my hand because I just could not take being wrong. Thinking back on it now at 24, I wonder where did that come from? Why did I not like being wrong? Then I figured out my answer.

Something you should know about me is that I like to know things. I don’t like surprises (although I am appreciative of them), I like to know. It’s not that I feel powerful, but I do feel in control. Maybe it comes from being the youngest of three older brothers, and I’m overcompensating for trying to be taken seriously since I’m so much younger and the only girl. Maybe it comes from past relationships where I wasn’t in control and a lot of things in the relationship I let slide because I was trying and I’m a nice person. Or maybe that’s it! Perhaps I’m tired of being the nice girl. (Nah…that’s not it.) Or maybe…maybe it’s because I hold myself to unrealistic standards. I figured if I’m always right, I can’t hurt others and I can be the person everyone wants me to be. It wasn’t until recently that I realized it’s okay to be wrong. I have all of this inner pressure, which isn’t fair to myself. I know it’s going to take some time to learn how to appreciate the beauty of being wrong every now and then. It can be a humbling experience or just a simple wake-up call. From now on, I will try my best to succumb to my own pride and “fall back” when it comes to knowing everything. (Which is impossible).

Alright then. That’s about all I have for you all this week. Here is my update on China: I am currently here! I made it safe and sound. I remember saying that writing weekly was going to be difficult while I’m teaching there for the next year. Between getting used to the time difference again, teaching schedule, unpacking, and all that fun stuff, I don’t want to make any promises. So, the only thing I can do is try to write as much as I can. Hopefully, on a month-to-month basis. It shouldn’t be anything less than once a month. I’m aiming for three times a month. Even if it’s something small, I really want to keep up with my writing!

I can’t wait to start this next journey! Change is coming, and I am prepared! Can’t wait to share my experience with you all!

‘Til Later ❤